Practice Chat

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Sat Jan 21, 2012 12:52 pm

Will felt his arm being grabbed but before he could react, he was pinned down by Damian. Glaring up at Damian, he tried flipping him over, attempting to reverse the pin. "Then what do you suggest, teacher?" he spat. He didn't mind taking orders, what bothered him was taking it from some ten year old brat.
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:12 pm

Damian
I put one knee on his middle back, my other stablizing to prevent his attempts to roll over on top of me. "Not laying for 'a minute' to get your breath back. Not acting 'slowly' at all." I put my fist against his neck to signify a death strike before releasing him. No need to push the win again. "Remember I said quick? Attack, defence, counter. There are not any pauses or breaks. That gives the chance of losing the upper hand." I get off him again, sitting beside him cross legged and resting my head on my fist, acting bored. Being called 'teacher', no matter how sarcastic it was, was a weird thing to hear.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:24 pm

Will pulled himself off of the ground, sitting back and studying Damian for a minute. "...you sure gotta lotta smart mouthed comments...." He said, thinking for a minute about the advice Damian had given. He sat on his knees and lunged at Damian, going to pin him down.


Last edited by gh3325 on Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:37 pm

Damian
Finally getting surprising? Sheesh! What the fuck was this shit?!
I try to lean back, get my legs untangled to have my feet between us so I can just vault him over me. Not quite quick enough though; I have to settle for grabbing his arms in an attempt at defense.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:41 pm

Will smirked and dug his knees into Damian's sides. Using his hands, he tried pinning down Damian's arms as he went to grab him. Heh...surprise...
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:04 pm

Damian
Obnoxious Bastard. Fucking Obnoxious Bastard. But I sneer it off when I find my hands pinned next to my head. "Words finally got a meaning for you, Cox? /That/ was quite a delay in understanding... Might want to get your hearing checked out or something. Now off, before you make this awkward. You give me every right to call you a potential child molester." But there was a tinge of amusement to my tone. It was finally getting interesting in here...

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:09 pm

Will thought for a minute, trying to quickly think of options. Without hesitation, in a flash he had let go of Damian's arms and had wrapped his hands around Damian's neck. Keeping a tight grip to make it hard for Damian to breathe, "How about I kill you?"
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:45 pm

Damian
I roll my eyes and glare at him a minute, keeping calm and saving my breath. Panicking is what made you struggle, what made you gasp for air. And my hands are free. Idiot.
I cup my hands slightly and suddenly bring them together, his head in the middle, to strike his ears and give a very painful concussive ear blow, sending two rockets of air down his ear canals and at his eardrums. Maybe they'd pop, though this was a move that could kill, I didn't much care. He was stepping over boundaries, and he should know better than to mess with me.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:18 pm

Will fell back off of Damian, disoriented from the attack. Blood trickled out of his ears and he stumbled, trying to get away.
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Tue Jan 24, 2012 4:33 pm

Damian
I scowl and kick at him as I sit up again. "Don't fuck with me, bastard. You'll see just how much of a gap is between our skill levels," I snap him, not really caring if he can hear or not. /No one/ messes with me. "Be fucking appreciative I'm even here to try and teach your sorry ass!"

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:38 pm

Will grimaced, pulling himself up and hardly understanding what Damian said. Cursing silently, he glared at Damian. "You're the one who is teaching me. Shouldn't you be happy about me almost taking down my instructor?"
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Tue Jan 24, 2012 9:07 pm

Damian
"Oh. No /wonder/ you don't know these BASICS. You kill your past teachers before you can learn anything!" I snap at him, standing up as well. "Do you not /read/ as well? This is called 'PRACTICE CHAT'. GET IT?" My hands are fists by my side as I glare at him.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:30 pm

Will snorted, running a hand through his hair to get his bangs out of his eyes. "I don't /kill/ my teachers. I just don't like you, then again, that's not saying much considering I don't like the majority of my family. My apologies, Mr. Wayne," he said, giving a mock bow.
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:18 pm

Damian
I snort, which turns into laughter. "Your family try to teach you then? You just not pay attention?" Jesus, he thought his family was bad? He didn't know the half of how bad things can get... Like being born for the sole purpose of being a replacement body for your grandfather. Loving, huh?

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:22 am

Will glared at Damian, standing his ground. "No, they taught me. Just more in other fields. What the heck is your problem anyway?" he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:16 pm

Damian
I roll my eyes, cross my arms over my chest, and glare back. "Oh, fuck off and be happy for a little bit, Cox. Laughing won't kill you, most of the time," I mutter. Might make you go insane and turn your hair green, it seemed. Clown Prince of Crime. Bah. Deranged circus drop out, more like it.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Sat Jan 28, 2012 4:35 pm

Info Dump Number Three:

You’re getting better! You are more comfortable in third person, I see, so stick with it.

Will’s skills set has gotten better as well. He defends well in the beginning, and you describe his stance more - as Damian noticed at the beginning of this fight.

You describe the roundhouse kick well, but if you’re unsure if his intended attack was conveyed in the description then say: ‘Lifted his leg...snapped his leg out [in a roundhouse kick]’ so you dont have to tell me what to expect directly. As i did with Damian: ‘I cup my hands slightly and suddenly bring them together, his head in the middle, to strike his ears and give a very painful concussive ear blow’. I say what the move is so you know what he’s doing, and not just by the description.

Getting better balancing thoughts, actions, and speech, though the ratio of the three are still slightly off. You’re still very heavy on actions and dialogue. Focus on thoughts more, give more insight to what Will is thinking. This: ‘He didn't mind taking orders, what bothered him was taking it from some ten year old brat’ gives more detail on who he is as a person than simply what he says or does. Give a hint on how he thinks, you give details on how he plans and what emotions or things he wants to say but can’t he’s hiding in his head. You say: ‘He said, thinking for a minute about the advice Damian had given’. Well, what did he think about it? If he didn’t like taking orders from the ‘ten year old brat’, why does he suddenly switch to listening to Damian’s advice and going for a surprise attack?

‘His (Damian's) height provided him with alot more advantages.’ - Just say Damian instead of his. You understood that there might be some pronoun confusion with it, so why say it?

What I see in Will: He’s stubborn certainly, not one to accept defeat very easily, though that makes him make mistakes when he’s so focused on winning. Which is a good flaw for someone who’s supposed to be a soldier. It’s relatable to the reader.
You fixed his problem with authority I spoke of last info dump, I believe, Will now following Damian even if he doesn’t want to. He knows when to be cautious now, as he should with new adversaries in battle.

Winter’s advice of momentum and balance is very useful when writing fighting scenes. Such as Damian’s first few moves, going from a fake punch to kick to trip was all one smooth transition because he used his momentum from one move to the next. It helps save energy in a fight which, as Winter pointed out, is also a factor in fighting as time goes on.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Sun Jan 29, 2012 11:43 am

GH

I read over the info dump, then going back to the previous ones. "Okay, thanks BW." I said, smiling at her. "I'll keep the momentum in mind. As for Will....should I heal him up?"
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Sun Jan 29, 2012 12:03 pm

BW
"Yes, sure, gh. Think you get hand to hand enough to move on to something else, or do you want to do another fight?" I ask her. Writing these scenes might be getting boring, I understood.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:34 pm

Gh

"Um we could try something new...? I don't really have a preference." I said, jotting down the words that would heal Will. Gosh I loved writing....

Will blinked, getting that odd feeling again. The feeling was similar to having the wind blow by you, at least, that was what it felt like for him. The blood from his ears vanishing like erased words. Well, he was just technically words, Will supposed. Stretching, he smirked at Damian as if to say, 'oh look, no more injuries'.
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Wed Feb 01, 2012 4:31 pm

BW
"Well, he's your character. What do you feel you need more work with? Or is there a trait that you're uncomfortable with?" I ask. /I/ certainly cant decide...


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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:32 am

GH

"No....I'm pretty much good in the trait...but his magic skill need work...I'm starting to develop them more."
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Sun Feb 05, 2012 9:17 pm

"Alright, shall I throw in someone else for that?" I ask her, mentally going through my magic user profiles.

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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Banshee on Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:35 pm

"Either is fine, Damian's resistant to alot of things. Will isn't that developed." I replied.
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Re: Practice Chat

Post by Black&White on Sun Feb 12, 2012 1:16 am

Well, selection isn't that big. I have Diana - my OC witch, Montserret - an elf-ish girl, or Zatanna -the DC magician. I can introduce you to their rules and regulations on magic to give you some ideas on how to develop your own.

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